


Maybe Someday It Won't Be Too Late

by xxxbookaholic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 19 or 20 yrs old, Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hope, I suck at tagging, M/M, Post Graduation, Sad, i almost cried writing this ngl, kind of inspired by music, kind of older au, not too much older though, this can be viewed as both friendship and romance, tsukishima goes to college in america to be a paleontologist, tsukkiyama - Freeform, yamaguchi wants to be a professional volleyball player but isn't there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxbookaholic/pseuds/xxxbookaholic
Summary: He gripped the carry-on bag around his shoulder and the suitcase at his side a little bit tighter before turning around and continuing through security, trying to fight the urge to look back one more time. When he was through, he risked one more look back, immediately wishing he hadn’t. Yamaguchi was still smiling, but there were tears sliding down his cheeks.When Yamaguchi realized Tsukishima was looking at him, he wiped away his tears, gave one last wink, and then turned on his heel, speed-walking back down the hall they’d come from, disappearing into the crowds of people.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Maybe Someday It Won't Be Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> I might write a sequel for this at some point, and in that case it would probably be about him coming back to visit, plus some flashbacks of how his time at college in America has been going. This story was originally inspired by In Case You Don’t Live Forever by Ben Platt, and the flashback about Tsukishima realizing how much he truly cares about Yamaguchi was inspired by Lemon Boy by Cavetown.

**Tsukishima Kei**

**9:45 AM, Saturday**

It’s too late. That was the first thing that crossed through Tsukishima’s mind as he stepped onto the airplane. It was pitiful, really. He and Yamaguchi would still be in contact. Going to America for college wasn’t the worst thing that could have come between his childhood friendship, not really. 

Growing up, Tsukishima had always heard about the painful things that stepped between relationships. Death, sickness, betrayal. There were long lists. There were heavy sobs, wet tissues, and blurry eyes. Nothing like that had happened when he had said goodbye to Yamaguchi at the airport gate.

He recalled the moment as he sat down in a window seat, gazing at the fluffy white clouds and trying to pretend it wouldn’t be about six years until he was officially back home. Sure, he could visit Japan every now and then. Maybe he’d even be able to sleep over at Yamaguchi’s house like they always used to do in highschool, but it just wouldn’t be the same knowing he’d eventually have to go back to college and leave his friend and home all over again.

-

**9:00 AM, Saturday**

_The hallways of the airport seemed to go on for forever, and the photos of forest animals, happy families, and mountains seemed to get even more plain looking as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked forward._

_“Send pictures of America while you’re there,” Yamaguchi was continuing on his long list of things Tsukishima had to remember, rambling on, just like usual. Except it wasn’t like usual because they were in a crowded hallway trying to make their way towards security and not walking back to Yamaguchi’s place after a trip to the convenience store, five new horror movies that they found on the “Top Five Worst Horror Movies To Watch Ever - Cringy” list that they found on Buzzfeed the night before and two packs of Country Ma’am Minis. Instead of Yamaguchi rambling about how chaotic he, Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Nishinoya’s last volleyball game was, he was rambling about how Tsukishima needed to remember to eat three meals a day._

_“I’m not a helpless child,” Tsukishima pointed out bluntly, rolling his eyes at Yamaguchi’s nagging to hide the way his eyes were starting to sting._

_Yamaguchi frowned for a second before pulling out his phone. Before he could even react, Yamaguchi had snapped a selfie of the two of them and saved it to his camera roll._

_Before Tsukishima could tell Yamaguchi that he didn’t like having his photo taken without warning or permission, something that his best friend was most certainly aware of, they were standing in front of the security gate._

_They halted abruptly. Tsukishima kept his reserved demeanor, not even flinching when Yamaguchi took one more photo, this time of just Tsukishima standing in front of the gate._

_His best friend smiled sadly before flicking Tsukishima right between the eyes and winking. “You’d better not forget me.”_

_Tsukishima rolled his eyes, lightly slapping Yamaguchi’s hand away. “Not possible. You’ve left such a mark on my life that it’s too late to turn back now.”_

_Yamaguchi raised one eyebrow, crossing his arms and tilting his head, “was that a compliment or an insult?”_

_“You tell me.”_

_Yamaguchi hid a laugh behind his hand, like he always did. Like he hopefully always would. For a split second, Tsukishima thought about giving up on the idea of college in America. He thought of leaving with Yamaguchi right that moment, cancelling his scholarship and finding a new place, right by his friend’s side. He could try out for the volleyball team Yamaguchi was on and had always tried to get him to join. They could find five new bad horror movies, or maybe rewatch Parks and Recreations, a show that Tsukishima hated but Yamaguchi adored. They could go and get ramen, the same lunch they chose everytime they went out for food. Everything would be perfect._

_Just as the thought came, though, it disappeared, leaving Tsukishima staring into Yamaguchi’s eyes, trying to keep his gaze from going blurry._

_Yamaguchi pulled Tsukishima in for one last hug. It was at that moment Tsukishima allowed himself to tighten his grip around Yamaguchi and pretend that everything was going to stay the same._

_Yamaguchi shuddered, something he always did whenever he was suppressing sobs and tears, and then took a step backwards, nudging Tsukishima closer to the security gate. “Come back in time for Halloween or I’ll fly back to America and retrieve you myself. Maybe you can even bring snacks or movies back from the stores there. Illegally watching The Nightmare Before Christmas on my computer just isn’t the same without you.”_

_Tsukishima rolled his eyes, but his mouth betrayed him with a small smile. He gripped the carry-on bag around his shoulder and the suitcase at his side a little bit tighter before turning around and continuing through security, trying to fight the urge to look back one more time. When he was through, he risked one more look back, immediately wishing he hadn’t. Yamaguchi was still smiling, but there were tears sliding down his cheeks._

_When Yamaguchi realized Tsukishima was looking at him, he wiped away his tears, gave one last wink, and then turned on his heel, speed-walking back down the hall they’d come from, disappearing into the crowds of people._

_-_

**9:56 AM, Saturday**

The pilot was talking over the intercom, but Tsukishima could barely hear him over his own thoughts. He wished that he hadn’t turned back. He wished that he had kept walking, maybe then he wouldn’t feel so guilty for leaving. When that thought passed his brain, he mentally slapped himself. There was no reason to feel guilty. Maybe if this had happened back in middle school or elementary school, there would’ve been a reason. Back then, Yamaguchi had been bullied by the taller, bigger kids in their school. But now things were different.

Ever since their first year at Karasuno, Yamaguchi had acquired more friends. He still kept in contact with their past team, and even still played volleyball with them. He was aiming for the big leagues now, something that Tsukishima could never bring himself to do. If he was going to be honest, he was envious. When he was younger, he thought that he’d never be envious in any way of Yamaguchi. He was scrawny, short, and had all sorts of acne and freckles. On top of that, as well, was the fact that he was so timid and such a push-over, an easy target for bullies. There was nothing to be jealous of Yamaguchi about, except maybe how easy he managed to fill up the lonely silence that once ruled Tsukishima’s life.

Before Yamaguchi, there was only silence. Sound would come and go, but none of it would stay. The only thing that stayed in Tsukishima’s orbit was his brother, and even he left eventually. Nothing was there to block the cold, stuffy wind that blew through Tsukishima’s world.

But then Yamaguchi was there, and everything was alright. No matter how annoying Yamaguchi could be, no matter how many times Tsukishima wished he’d shut up, the scrawny boy stayed.

Where there was once silence there were words, all different shapes and colors. And eventually, even Tsukishima didn’t want him to leave. He had realized how important Yamaguchi had become to him in middle school, a year or so after they met. 

-

**8:30 AM, Sixth Grade**

_“Where’s Yamaguchi?” a girl who Tsukishima didn’t know the name of asked, glancing around as if the now not-so-scrawny boy would materialize out of thin air._

_“Why would I know?” Tsukishima snorted, continuing to walk around the stranger, assuming the conversation would be over. Unfortunately, though, it was not, as the girl followed._

_“You two are friends, duh,” she piped up, crossing her arms. He could just barely see her hair flick in front of her face through his peripheral vision_

_Tsukishima clicked his tongue. Immediately, his mind flashed back to the time he and Yamaguchi were walking home together and Yamaguchi had told him he sounded like a clock when he clicked his tongue. Shaking the thought away, Tsukishima side-eyed the girl boredly. “We aren’t friends, not even close. He just follows me around.”_

_She uncrossed and crossed her arms again as she responded, her bag slipping on her shoulder. “Yeah, sure. I wouldn’t want to be seen as Yamaguchi’s friend either. He barely ever talks, and when he does it’s always stupid things like why it is that penguins can’t fly or who first invented planes.”_

_Tsukishima snorted at that. Never talked? He sure did_ **_wish_ ** _that was the case._

_She seemed to find his response satisfactory, because she turned on her heel and started walking away as the hallway split._

_As he thought about it, he understood why people would assume he and Yamaguchi were friends. The year they met, Tsukishima tolerated him. Even invited him to his brother’s so-called volleyball game, the one that ended up being total bull. Lame._

_After that game, though, Tsukishima tried to step away from Yamaguchi. Unfortunately for him, though, Yamaguchi didn’t let go of their acquaintenceship that easily._

_Tsukishima pushed his classroom door open, dropping into his seat._

_He assumed that Yamaguchi would just be late and turn up later. Except, that didn’t happen. Tsukishima went through the rest of the day without Yamaguchi and his stupid freckles talking his ear off about he and his mom’s trip to the convenience store the day before or how the cookies he baked a week ago were too salty._

_Tsukishima had thought that Yamaguchi not being there to making him go deaf in one ear would be a good, peaceful thing, but instead, it turned out to be absolute hell. The world was silent again, just as silent as it used to be. The noises came and went, but none stuck around. There was no voice chattering about how to pronounce erinaceous. There was nobody to ask him how his day was, a question that he’d ultimately ignore but would be responded to regardless by Yamaguchi, who would act like Tsukishima just asked him how_ **_his_ ** _day was._

_When the day was over, Tsukishima went to sleep and expected it to return to normal the next day._

_It didn’t._

_For a whole three days, Yamaguchi was absent, no where in sight. But then the fourth day came._

_Yamaguchi stood where he always seemed to be, waiting for Tsukishima. Despite trying to hide his relief, a smile still slipped onto Tsukishima’s face, but it was quickly wiped away when Yamaguchi began to speak._

_“My sister died of liver cancer,” the boy said, his expression, for the first time ever, unreadable._

_“Oh.” That was all Tsukishima could say. What else was he supposed to say? Sorry for your loss? It gets better? Tsukishima knew the first one wouldn’t help, and he knew he couldn’t guarantee the second one._

_Yamaguchi wiped a hand across his cheek, where a tear was slipping down to his chin. “Yeah.”_

_They walked in silence for a little while before Tsukishima, to his own surprise, spoke without thinking. “I missed you and your chatter.” Right when he said it, he regretted it, because Yamaguchi’s expression turned too remarkably hopeful._

_For a second, it looked like he would reply, but in the end, he said nothing, and the two walked in silence for a while._

_Except, it wasn’t the same kind of silence that used to fill up Tsukishima’s world. It was the kind of silence that was awkward and made him feel uneasy, but it clicked right into place, as if it was the same as having a normal conversation._

_From that day forward, Tsukishima tried to at least look like he was listening to Yamaguchi because he didn’t want him to disappear again._

_-_

**Current Day, 7:30 PM, Saturday**

Tsukishima slipped into his new apartment and immediately began to unpack. It was already furnished with things like an old, dusty couch, a small table, two chairs, and when he stepped into his new room, there was already a mattress and bed frame in the corner with a desk pushed up next to the window. 

He put all of his utensils and kitchen supplies into a drawer, reciting English phrases as he unpacked all of his stuff, trying to make sure he would know how to communicate with other people. 

When he got to unpacking the rest of his bedroom stuff, he found that there were a few extra things that Yamaguchi must have added. There was a volleyball with the same appearance as the ones they used to use in their highschool years laying in his bag, which he rolled under his bed. 

There were five packs of Country Ma’am Minis, which he dropped into the drawer at his desk, and one of the bad comedy movies that he, Yamaguchi, and Nishinoya had watched when he and Tadashi were second-years and Nishinoya was a third year. 

Last, underneath a pile of neatly folded clothes that Tsukishima could’ve sworn he remembered just tossing into the case, was a bulletin board that already had papers and such attached. There was a small ‘fly’ banner that was clearly based off of Karasuno’s banner, a small diagram of a t-rex, a Parks And Recreations poster, a drawing of Tsukishima and Kageyama, most likely done by Suga, and three polaroid photos of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.

The first photo was taken by an outside source, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi clearly not aware at the time that they were being watched. They were on the youth volleyball team (primary school). Tsukishima was demonstrating a stance good for receiving, a clearly irritated expression on his face, probably frustrated by how long it was taking Yamaguchi to understand the basics of volleyball. Yamaguchi’s eyebrows were furrowed and his tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth as he tried to copy Tsukishima’s stance, his legs not bent enough and his hands only barely touching.

The second photo was taken in their second year of middle school, at a festival. Yamaguchi was smiling brightly, eyes twinkling. Tsukishima was side-eyeing Yamaguchi, not even close to a smile, but even Tsukishima had to admit that there was a kind of softness in his expression that he had reserved only for Yamaguchi for so long in his life. 

The third photo was taken on their first day of high school. Yamaguchi had one hand resting on Tsukishima’s elbow and the other holding the phone, a bright, goofy smile on his face. The morning sun was shining across his face, making his freckles look even brighter. Tsukishima looked like he was in the middle of trying to shove Yamaguchi’s elbow off of his shoulder, but he was definitely holding back a laugh, one eyebrow raised, amused. His eyes held the same softness as the last photo, plus eyebags, which always appeared in the morning. 

Tsukishima ignored the fact that he was crying and sobbing as he hung the bulletin board up on the plain, dull wall. It was too late. 

When he was ready for bed, he rested his body on top of the blue colors instead of under them, whipped out his phone, and shot a text to Yamaguchi.

_I’m going to need you to send me those photos._

The response came back immediately, the photos accompanied with a text.

_Don’t forget to answer all of my call and reach all of the articles I send you._

Tsukishima didn’t respond, just saved the photos to his camera roll and closed out his phone, rolling on his side and trying to sleep. In most stories and movies of long-distance friendships and relationships, the person would never be able to sleep. They would twist and turn and fret and never relax. But unlike those sad stories, Tsukishima went right to bed after five minutes, because he knew that no matter what kind of struggles the distance brought upon them, the ropes of loyalty that tied them together would never snap, no matter how sharp the sword. And some day, it wouldn’t be too late.


End file.
